The End in 'Friend'

I am writing this to everyone who is having a tough time accepting that the word END, is in the word FRIEND. Once you understand this, you can celebrate your X-friend and move past the END.

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The END in FRIEND

As I age another year I need to celebrate you, X-Friend, and accept the end in friend. It has been several years since we talked; yet, I have no closure. You may have taken a stance that over is over; but I have never subscribed to that belief without exceptions. Therefore, I have stood frozen in a relationship of what, why, when, where, how, etc.

I guess I should have recognized the end in friend when I faced a Katrina and did not hear from you. Reality should've been obvious when I was caught in a Tsunami without a lifeline from you. I even buried my sister, mother, and father in your silence. And yet, until recently, I still wanted your whisper, your scream, your smile, your laugh. I suppose I was blinded by what used to be and longed for the once upon a time solidarity.

Then, I wasn’t mature enough to know that seasons change, albeit, some may say season no reason to change.

In you, I never thought I would see the end in friend. For years I wondered and pondered, sighed and cried, reflected and interjected, rehearsed and cursed, and employed other twosomes.

It is clear to me now I may never receive an answer to the what, the why, the when, the where, the how. Therefore, today I cease questioning as I move forth.

To you, my friend of yesterday-time, I'm sorry for whatever you perceive I did to you or neglected to do, for you. I tried to give you me as your friend with all my Greatness and all my Great Flaws.

Thank you for the love we shared and every moment we cared, the tears we shed and the campaigns we led, for every pat on the back and gifts given in times of lack, each word of praise and every extension of grace, and for every closed and opened door and each time we didn't keep score. I thank you for this, and that, and more, but somethings are better left in my center core.

No, it's not easy to accept that there is an end in friend. But, I should've realized Jesus is the only friend guaranteed without end. I realize it now and if I never understand the why, the what, the when, the where, and the how, I am comforted by Friend Jesus, forever. And I pray you are too, X-Friend.

Copyright © Nita L. Chase May 4, 2017